harp demos for winter listening (i cry in some of these)

by Butterfly Bandage

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1.
2.
04:44
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04:48
5.
03:00
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7.

credits

released January 23, 2016

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Track Name: watershed (shannen moser cover)
i had a dream that you came back
and i have dreams that not all good things go bad
in this dream you were searching for
a time less clear and a space upon the floor

and if you notice that things are out of place
and if you notice that somehow this has changed
if you notice

i had a dream that you were on the phone
and everyone felt much more less alone
on the phone you were telling me
that everythings not quite as bad as it seems

and if you notice that things are out of place
and if you notice that somehow this has changed
if you notice
Track Name: good luck
i acted too quickly
i acted without thought
and i wish i could do more than apologize for any pain ive brought
to u, and theres an ocean between us and it is breathing
and i heard that u are leaving
well if thats what u rly want

at this point i know better than to try to swim across
but if u want id send a letter any time, u dont need to respond
and the breath of life in both of us has been more than we can bear
but right now id like to believe it when u say ur getting somewhere
good luck

i feel my ankles in the water as the breath envelops me
feel my head and heart disintegrate as im getting to thinking
theres a point in whats been happening and i wonder what it is
i wouldve never expected it to go the way i see now it did
i hope u realize how fundamentally uve changed my life
but i hope u realize ur enough in ur own self, justified
to exist whatever way u can and ur worth is not defined
by the friends u have, their opinions, and whenever the end will come
i hope that u feel somehow whole and safe and some kind of loved
and ur final breaths to meet ur death come knowing everything uve done
was more than enough
and the surf rolls back i hear it breathe while the ocean sighs im still thinking

at this point i know better than to try to swim across
but if u want id send a letter any time, u dont need to respond
and the breath of life in both of us has been more than we can bear
but right now id like to believe it when u say ur getting somewhere
good luck
Track Name: ngel (co-written with facebook user loosie vuitton)
is it strong enough
is it tough enough
to keep u warm in winter
is it not enough
is it what u want
do u feel at home in winter

all of the time u took, u gave, u took, u gave
am i in the way
all of the time u took, u gave, u took, u gave
are u in the way

and in my heart
the work is hard
the path is long
can i ask whats wrong

are u awake
im awake
u should come over
Track Name: im yelling
empty feeling
gnawing every day
starting over
never seems to change
inside me holding
onto what i hate
i cant let go yet
as long as i’m awake

very unnerving
the way you hold unswerving
to things that will destroy you
still i cant say what you should do

so much fun to hurt ourselves
oh the way our bodies felt
keep away whatever helps
im afraid to face myself
eroding passively
id never treat u like me
can u listen to me breathe
can u tell me what i need

out with it
i cant take this
it never changes
how often do i have to say it
every day i guess
every song i guess

im resolving to do this
things are different this time
things are different this time
things are different
Track Name: :^)
wake up late
rub my eyes
im a mistake
i hate my life
shuffling my feet
taking my time
brushing my teeth
somethings not right
every day i ask myself
can i maintain my basic health
taking care of the simple things
despite all of my suffering
why is this hard
why is that hard
why does this hurt
why cant i start
doing what i would like to do
i want to sleep my whole life through

today nothing should be wrong
c'mon...c'mon...c'mon...c'mon...

why does it make me feel bad?
Track Name: lol same (this ones actually about the summer)
i guess its true
i have no clue
i guess u too
dont know what to do
i guess im alive still
i guess i have time still
i know things are fucked up
u could call this bad luck

how long before u get better
whatll it take to put me back together
and ive watched my life pass by
waiting for every good thing to die
its sad its a real bummer
dont know what i expected from the summer
and i ll change, u ll change
but all the worst things stay the same

i guess its true
we have no clue
i i love u
dont know what to do
i guess we 're alive still
i guess we 're tight still
i know we met huh
u could call this good luck

how long before u get better
whatll it take to put me back together
and ive watched my life pass by
waiting for every good thing to die
its sad its a real bummer
dont know what i expected from the summer
and i ll change, u ll change
but all the worst things stay the same
Track Name: the last night of winter
i look at the sky
because i think the sky is beautiful
i look at the ground
because i think i am not beautiful
i look up some friends on facebook dot com
to make sure we’re still friends on facebook dot com
but what does that amount to when i feel like weve gone wrong
when i wish we could talk but i’m worried we wont get along

and all of every day
theres so much that i wish would just go away
just go away

i wont go into detail
but its just very consistently
the people that im closest to have hurt and disappointed me
i have a tendency to anticipate the worst from any situation
and when i perceive behavior that may be threatening, i feel very threatened
but that perception is based on a nervous faulty logic
that i have developed in response to behavior that is toxic
from people i surround myself with
that take advantage of the way i once had so much love to give
and it takes a lot not to feel like ive run out of it

and all of every day
theres so much that i wish would just go away
just go away

just go away x3 i need to be alone

but what does alone mean when u have everyone
that u ve ever known deep in the pit of ur stomach
memories wont go away always
memories are here to stay painfully

(the last night of winter) thats what im calling this song
it was originally about a mystical experience from around the time the ice would thaw
but i was feeling disconnected, well im always feeling disconnected
still i felt like i needed to start over and i did it
and i would like to hold that true with every aspect of my life
and yes with all my friends who bring me emotional strife
and yes all the memories that make me feel unsafe
and yes all the harmful ways i scrutinize my face

and all of every day
theres so much that i wish would just go away
just go away

back to the drawing board
down at the bottom
all the way to the beginning
to the root of my problems
i need to be honest
i need to be real
if i wanna change anything i cant hide what i feel
and i don’t mean start over in the literal sense
i mean breaking everything down til i start to dent
the robotic body of my all-consuming fear
i can’t think my way out of it but it sure helps to see clear

and all of every day
theres so much that i wish would just go away
just go away

just go away x3 i need to be alone

but what does alone mean when u have everyone
that u ve ever known deep in the pit of ur stomach
memories wont go away always
memories are here to stay painfully